Feeling all the feels

Deary me. How do I feel in this moment in time? To be honest, today I don't feel too bad. I've given myself this day to rest. But I can tell you I haven't been able to say that for the past few weeks and I won't be saying that the following weeks to come. GCSE's my friend. But the thing is, I know I shouldn't feel as stressed as I do. I mean heck, I ain't doing no A Levels or dissertations in University. However, I still feel the immense pressure that is put upon me by my teachers, my peers, and most of all, myself. Of course, these exams are important, but so is my mental health.

Just thinking about the next few weeks has started giving me a headache.

I'm stuck between collapsing under the workload and trying to be as positive as I can. Being positive is something I'm known for within my friendship group; I try to find the bright side of things and be everyone's cheerleader. But even though I still manage it, oh it is so difficult. Sometimes I feel like snapping and ripping people's head off with my teeth (pleasant), but I still put a smile on my face (or at least settle with my resting bitch face).

Every second of revision I hate, but every second I don't revise is even worse. It's like voices are floating inside my head, eerily whispering "hey Lauren, why aren't you revising? You're going to fail your exams! You don't want that do you?". I want to just grab that voice and dispose of it so I can actually relax, but it doesn't go away. Even now I feel guilty for putting revision to the side. I'm stressed about revising as much as I'm stressed about not revising. *Internal screaming*

But do you know what's funny? I'm pretty sure I'm going to do well. I'm projecting my target grade in every subject, and all of my mock exams are piling up in grade A results. So even though I shouldn't have much too fear, I panic none the less. (a lot more than I should!) It's weird how the brain works.

I feel such a deep guilt inside of me for complaining, because at least I have an education, at least I have a chance for a bright future. There are much worse things going on in this world right and I feel so selfish that I'm constantly thinking about me me me. I should be grateful. I just can't believe it's going to get worse in the years to come.

Let us on a positive note; next week I will have finished high school, knowing that I value my right to an education. I value the fact that females in this country are allowed to learn. Even though I've not exactly enjoyed school, I have made a lot of memories, and have learnt a lot of lessons (pun not intended) and in fact, I am grateful. On May 13th ,I will be free from high school and on June 17th, I will be free from GCSEs.

Now I'm getting emotional.

I've never felt so ready.

How are you feeling recently? I'd love to know!
Lauren xx

World Kindness Day: Part 2

Evening chums! Friday the 13th November 2015, was world kindness day! In Mondays post, of which you can read here, I talked about the special day and ways you can spread your kindness in many different ways! 

Yesterday I did my part, and wrote around 25 notes of kindness. Hey, that might not sound like a lot, but I spent an hour writing and I was just too eager to dish them out to the locals. I walked around the estate for an hour, in the freezing cold, my fingers numb and yellow, posting each individual note into people's letter boxes. I thought my fingers where going to fall off but hey, to make just one person smile is so worth it. It was later that night when the terrorist attacks in Paris happened. Everything felt so so wrong. It was supposed to be a day of kindness around the world, however innocent people were being killed and I witnessed the death toll as it grew. My boyfriend text me constant updates of what was happening, to keep me in the loop, and with every message I received my heart ached and ached. If I hurt so much, imagine how the families of those who had people they knew in Paris, those who lost people, and even those who live in the city who now live in fear!

However, kindness did follow. I think everyone's heard and seen about the different monuments around the world being lit up in the colors of the French flag. Taxi drivers in Paris turned off their meters and too everyone home or to safety to free. Some people even opened their doors, letting those who needed it to sleep in their own home and seek safety! The hashtag #PayForParis started trending all over twitter, and I don't think I've ever seen so many people come together and unite, and it felt so good to see how many people cared. Kindness still lingered through the darkness, not all hope was lost. 

The next morning I woke up to be treated with a beautiful box sent by Cotton Traders UK, full of cosy goodies. It all was sent free for the sake of promoting world kindness, and I felt so blessed to receive such beautiful items, and it was so selfless and caring of them! In the box I received many goodies such as a hot chocolate spoon, a hot water bottle, and my personal favorite: fluffy socks.

Now, Cotton Traders UK told me I could do whatever I wanted with the box as long as it involved kindness and giving to others. As much as I would love to send packages to all those affected by the recent tragedies, that's unfortunately not possible. However instead, I will pick packing it full with food, sanitary items, and warm clothing such as gloves and scarves, to my local charity for the homeless which they will then pass on to one of their clients so that they can have a better Christmas despite having to live in the streets.

I was also surprised to see these to images on Facebook and Instagram:

I made two people happy. And that made me happy too,like,  really really happy. The post on Facebook, since I last checked, reached over 100 likes, which may not seem like a huge number, but to me it means so much. The person who posted the note onto Facebook may never know who I am, and I don't know who they are either since the posted anonymously, but I feel like on some weird level we both made each others day that bit more better. 23 over people will have received these notes too, and I hope that I've managed to make each and every one of them smile.

Despite all the hard times the world is facing now, especially in Paris, Japan, Lebanon, Mexico, and Baghdad, I've witnessed unity, and togetherness. People in my town have lit candle lights as a memorial to those died, another person is raising money to send flowers of condolences to Paris (you can donate here), and almost everyone on my Facebook paged has a french flag overlay on their profile picture. I'm witnessing kindness and solidarity everywhere I look.

I now sit here in the safety of my home, with the socks I was gifted comforting my feet, reflecting on how lucky I am. The world is a scary place right now, but we can take steps to make it a better. Kindness is needed more than ever, and I push each and every one of you to do something everyday, no matter how big or small, to give someone a reason to smile.

 You can read Cotton Traders UK's post about world kindness here

Have a lovely day

Lauren x

#PrayForTheWorld

*This post in collaboration with Cotton Traders UK, who sent me the box of kindness for free, to promote world kindness. All opinions are completely honest and my own

My head wants to live in the future

My head is always living in the future, I'm always wondering what's next. Instead of focusing in the now, I turn to spending hours googling University courses, picturing my dream house, considering the steps I want to take to pursue my dream career, when I've still got so much time ahead of me to get all that stuff sorted. I'm constantly thinking what can I do to do this and that, to be this, to achieve that, when in reality I'm not sure if I'm focused on how I'm living my life now. Instead of thinking of all the grades I need to get, why aren't I thinking of how I can push myself to get there today, rather than worrying about my future? I'm so worried about things that aren't going to happen for years to come, but it's like an obsession. It's like I'm consumed by the thought of success, happiness and growth, like I want to be there right now. I'm in a rut. I'm always thinking bigger and better, and it makes me wonder, will I ever be happy with now? Is this a problem or is it normal? I don't know, but I need to take a step back and relish my life as it is now.

Do you dwell in the past, you live in the now, or are you focused on the future like I am?

Much love,

Liebster Award

Hey guys, hope you're all doing okay! I'm in a jolly good mood this evening as I write this, so  decided it would be the perfect time to answer the following questions as part of my nomination for the Leibster Award. I've been nominated by two lovely people; Georgie from Pixels & Pine and Sara from About The Little Things. 

Here are the rules that I have been given:

1. Link back to the person who nominated you

2. Answer the 10 questions set by the nominator

3. Create 10 new questions for 10 bloggers you nominate

4. Comment on your nominees blog with a link to your blog to let them know they've been nominated

Because I was nominated twice, I decided to answer both sets of questions, so here they are!

1. What made you start blogging?

I've always had a love for writing, but never a reason too! After reading a few blogs and being introduced to such a great platform and community, I learnt that blogging 
opens up a whole world of creative space for people like me . 

2. Do you sleep on your front, back or side?

All three!!

3. Name three things you couldn't live without

My family and friends (that counts as one, duh)

Music

Food and water silly!

4. What is your favourite place in the world?

I adore where my grandparents live in Poland!

5. What's your favourite TV series?

The Office (US)!!

6. What would you change in your life right now if you could

I would change that my Dad has to work so much, it sucks and I wish he could be home more :(

7. Windows or Mac?

I'm not sure, I use Windows but I think I'd prefer Mac.

8. If you could go back in time, what time period would you go?

The swinging sixties! (I'm thinking along the line of Hairspray, that looked like a lot of fun.) Or to a period where there were no phones and I could live on a farm, read books, help harvest potatoes, pick apples, look after horses in the stables etc. Basically I would love to have live like Anne from Anne of Green Gables.

9. Most inspirational person to you?

Apart from my dad, I'd say my neighbour's daughter's boyfriend. He started out selling and designing gym clothes with his friend in the backroom of their houses, and since then they've grew their own company which as become one of the UK's largest fitness wear brands, Gymshark. He has managed to accomplish so many things at such a young age of 23, and I aspire to work my ass off to be able to do some of the things he can now do. 

10. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Fajitas!!

---

1. Die Standing or live kneeling?

Live Kneeling.

2. You in 3 words

Always wanting food

3. Favourite clothing brand?

I loveeeee Urban Outfitters clothing

4. How many secrets do you have?

Between you and me, this blog is a bit of a secret, only 3 of my friends know about it!! (shh)

5. Underlining or using text markers?

Are text markers high lighter, because high lighters are my fave

6. Your biggest fear?

Death.

7. Grumpy in the morning?

Yes very, I wish I was one of those people who gets up early everyday outwith ever thinking twice and is always wide awake

8. Did you ever want to give up blogging & if yes, why?

I've only been blogging for 2 months, so not yet, but I hope that I don't

9. Favourite song?

I'll pick three to make it easier for myself

1.  At the moment I'm loving Perfect by One Direction.

2. Cattle & Cane - Dancing

3. Des'ree - Kissing you

10. Which bloggers inspire you? 

I am inspired by so many different bloggers every day that I can't just name a few!!

So those were my answers!

Now I nominate:

Courtney from Courtney's Little Things

Kat from Chapters Of Kat

Emma from Unf4bul0us

Robyn from Hey There Robyn

Stephanie from SR Photography

Charlene from Tartan Mouth

Jasmine from Blogsallbeautyy

Grace from Grace Blogs Life

Katie from Life Of A Daydreamer

and Giuliette from Giuliette Blog

My questions for you are:

1. Who do you think kids these day should admire to be like?

2. What's your favourite rainy day song?

3. Tea or Coffee?

4. What was/is your favourite subject at school and why?

5.  Who's a blogger that deserves more followers and readers?

6. What were your favourite meal as a child?

7. What is the worst film you've ever seen?

8. Starbucks or Costa?

9. Where's the best place you've ever visited?

10. Do you have your own personal mug? What does it look like?

Have a brilliant Saturday everyone!! (or whatever day of the week you're reading this on, have a good one c; )

Much love,

Early Morning Rambles

On the 19th of October 2014, a special someone asked me to be their girlfriend while hugging me tightly in a cold, leaf covered park. A year later, and we're celebrating the great year we've spent together! Joshua is that special someone in my life, the one who pushes all my buttons, the one who annoys the crap out of, and the one who makes me want to rip my hair out. But overall he's also the one who has a heart of gold, always puts others before himself, and the one that still loves me when I'm at my worse (especially when I have no makeup on!!). I'm so happy to have found someone to call my own, knowing that we share the same dreams and want the same things. He's my partner in crime, and my best friend in the whole world. Who knows what's to happen in the upcoming years, I mean, the future is scary! I just hope that I go through it with his hand in mine.

 Today I'm taking him to see Cattle & Cane, and I'm so excited because I've never been to a small gig before, only to massive venues to see the likes of Take That, One Direction, and 5SOS. He doesn't know who we're seeing yet (not that I know of)so I hope he has fun otherwise I'll have a sob in the corner for being a crap girlfriend, or just make him dance with me anyways because he hates dancing an I'm cruel like that.

 On another note, I hope you're having a great week thus far! Halloweens not too far away now, and after Halloween is Bonfire Night, then after that is the run up to Christmas!(I'm not going to lie, I've already been blasting out Christmas music while I get ready). There are so great things to look forward to this time of year! I'm feeling all the holiday spirits! I'm especially excited for this weekend, as I'm going to a Halloween party!! (Get me be sociable!!) I'm not that great at coming up with cool and original costume ideas like some, so I'm thinking of going basic, like a deer or something, because deer are beautiful, innocent creatures. (Is that cheating, going for the easy option?)

 Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? If so, as what?

Much love,

P.S: I LOVE YOU JOSHY, THANK YOU FOR MY BEAUTIFUL RING AND FLOWERS

This is why I'm not a fashion blogger

Just look at me, look how hopeless I am. I feel sorry for myself now, for thinking that these jeans with those shoes look okay. I'm actually a laughing stock, and I don't care because looking at myself now I want to burst into laughter myself! Ahhh, how I'm glad I'm a lifestyle blogger, I don't think I was ever meant to go down the line of fashion that's for sure! For all I know, I could look fabulous, but in my eyes it's plain to see that I'm a little old mess who should stay in my bedroom in the comfort of my baggy Primark pyjama bottoms and dirty over sized shirts. But I tell you one thing that this has taught me, it's taught me that I'm doing the best thing that's right for me, and that I'm not trying to be something I'm not. Yes I may have tried to take a photo so I could do a cute little fashion post, but it just turns out I'm not cut out for that. My niche is lifestyle, and I cant try and force myself to be someone I'm not. If you're a blogger whose thinking of venturing out into a different niche, like fashion, lifestyle, beauty etc. I'd say go for it! But don't do something that isn't about who you are or what you enjoy. I love the beauty of makeup and how I can transform my face in different ways, but I could never be a beauty blogger because it's not something I'm absolutely passionate about. I'm following the path that leads to my happiness and so should you! I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore and I've rambled enough. Just be yourself I guess is what I'm trying to say. Any whom, I'll post the other two pictures for you to see, I mean they're not terrible, but fashion blogging is not for me (:

Thanks to my friend Sophie for taking the photos though, your photo skills are fabulous, where as I am not. You can follow Soph on Instagram here.

What's your blogging niche and why did you choose it?

Much love,

A blessing from the skirt gods.

The best thing happened the other day. A blessing. Mum went up in the loft to fetch my old school clothes for my little sister, then passed me over a skirt she found up there from when I was ickle. When I looked at it, I swear my jaw dropped. You know those denim skirts that're all the rage right now?  Yeah well, I reaaaaallllly wanted one. However, I didn't think they'd look good on my wide hips or suit my body shape at all. The struggle. So when my mum brought THIS baby down:

I ALMOST FLIPPED! I loved it so much, but I was absolutely sure it wouldn't fit! When I had this skirt when I was younger, I hated it and thought it was the most ugliest thing. Despite this, once they were in my hands, I was in love and jokingly tried it on, expecting the worst. But the worst didn't happen, and surprisingly, IT FIT! I have no clue how because I'm like 5ft 8, and even though its a teeny bit short due to my long legs (but opaque black tights do the trick), it fits like a glove and suits my figure perfectly.(must be some type of voodoo magic.) I've been all heart eyed emoji over it since. Thank you skirt gods for your gift, thank you.

How do you feel about the denim skirt trend? Will you be rocking it this Autumn?
Much love,