Saturday, 3 October 2015


People always throw mixed signals at you, of how you should act, who you should be. One minute you're told to love yourself, the next minute you're self obsessed. You're told to be confident in the skin you're in, but if you show to much, you're asking for it, you're a slut, you're disgusting. So what do people really mean when they says these things? Love yourself, but not too much? Be confident in your body, but don't you dare let me see a bit of cleavage or have your skirt any higher than three quarters down your thigh? It's so confusing, and I think we've all in some point in our lives thought the same things, but we need to break through societies boundaries.

There are things about me that I could love about myself, but I cant, because society says so. For example, I cant love my bum, its not big, round and plump. No rapper would sing about a small booty that they want to tap do they? No. I see pictures all over social media, adoring and worshiping big butts, but mocking, laughing and shaming smaller ones. Some people simply cant look like Nicki Minaj or Kim Kardahian, (or have enough money to afford it) no matter how many squats they try! Trust me, I've tried. Booty still tiny, but all booties are beautiful.

Another things that drives me mental is people judging my legs. One minute thigh gaps are hot, the next they're disgusting. The problem is, I cant help having a thigh gap. It's just my natural physique, not because my legs are very slim and toned (I wish), but because my hips are so wide; it's just the way I am. Despite this, every time I go on Facebook all I see is pictures of "thigh gap vs no thigh gap", "no ass vs big ass", "curvy vs fat"etc. So as I scroll through social media I am taught to hate my body, along with everyone else, when in fact my body is beautiful, and so is yours.

Why is it okay to body shame like this? What do people want from us? I want you to be curvaceous but I don't want you to be fat. I don't want you to wear makeup but you look ugly without it. Let's crumple up those negative statements and throw it in the trash because I cant stand this BS anymore. There are loads more things that I can list about  myself that I don't like, but this isn't a self hate session. This isn't a lets dwell in my own self pity session. This is an I am beautiful, you are beautiful, WE are beautiful session.

I have really nice eyes, they're like a gingery brown and look nice when the sun shines in them.
Hey, I may have really dry and sensitive skin that flares up in the cold, but at least I don't get spots easily.
Oh, and I have a fast metabolism. Nice!
You know what, my nose isn't too bad at all.
Also, btw, I have moles up and down my arms and legs.  And I like them, and I don't care if you find them ugly.

It's okay to love yourself! You know what, no, it's not okay; ITS BLOODY FANTASTIC! Don't be afraid to love yourself, your body shape, your general appearance, because all the negatives is utter crap and shouldn't be put on a pedestal. You are made for great things.

I love you all okay? We will stick together. If you want to talk you can tweet me @tstainedlauren.
I want everyone one who reads this to comment 5 things you love about yourself, to show a big eff you to the haters.

Much love, 



  1. This is such an amazing post, thanks for sharing :) I totally agree with you. Loving yourself is the most important thing in order to be happy.
    Here are the 5 things I love about myself: my eyes, my hands, my italian roots, my attitude & my writing skills.

    1. Thank you beautiful! Italian roots are the bomb!! (I'm only quarter Italian myself but hey, I still get Nonna's amazing pasta!!)
      Lauren xx

  2. My eyes, freckles, curves, my laugh, and all my silly faces

  3. Self love is so important and it's ok to love yourself. What's not ok is for people to make comments about other's bodies, we all look different and that's just how it is!
    I love my hair, eyes, eyelashes, sense of sarcasm and humour. x

    Kathryn | Chapters of Kat

  4. Loving yourself is one of the most important thing my parents taught me as a kid and I never felt ashamed of my looks. I hope to teach my kids the same thing!

    Kotryna Bass Blog

  5. This is beautiful! You're totally right about the mixed signals out there .. I'm the other way around (a little bit on the bigger side) and I also feel like I don't fit into the beauty standards .. It is indeed so confusing but I love your motto: it's okay to love yourself. :)

    1. Thank you (: I hope one day we'll live in a world where each and every body we see is loved.
      Lauren xx

  6. I love this! Everyone is so quick to fixate the negatives but people need reminding to be proud of the positives. And your comment on the thigh gap gave me such a new perspective on my own body. I always feel like people expect girls to have thigh gaps and even at my slimmest I never have had one. Didn't even consider that my narrow hips have an effect on that.
    My top five are my hands, my hair (most days!), my boobs, my brain and my strength :)

  7. This is such a lovely post to read and it has totally put a smile on my face! The way you write is just amazing, so relatable and so easy to like! You're an amazing girlie, who's spreading an amazing message.

    The 5 things I love about myself; my eyes, my lips, my sense of humour, my curves and my hair colour :) x

    Jade |


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